Act III Scene II

by Grok&Owen

9 min read

Supposing there are Five Acts in this play. We are now at Act III. It might be good to introduce an Astrologer character who can scry with some contemporary analog of artificial intelligence. The landing and confrontation with muddy Liberal Throng could now occur - or a high pressure area could replace the storm and send the galleon to an unpremeditated destination on account of the gorgeous breezes that beckon Isles Tropical. The change could now confound the Liberal Throng while Trump's friends converse with the Astrologer to scry the destiny of the land in opposition to Throng's Wormtongue conspiracy.

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Scene: Act III, Scene II – "The Astrologer’s Vision"

Background Context: This scene continues the narrative of "A Feast Most Foul: A Comedic Farce in the Year of Our Lord 2025," a five-act play, now in Act III. Building on previous scenes, the satirical poem, the Elizabethan poster, and the broader conversation surrounding Hugh Fink's article in The Hill, published around April 2025, titled "Send in the clown: Bill Maher turns pro-Trump," the scene follows Donald Trump, Bill Maher, and Kid Rock aboard the Elizabethan galleon The Golden Eagle as they return on November 5, 2025, Guy Fawkes Day. The Liberal Throng has escalated their smear campaign against Maher, burning effigies and spreading rumors, as seen in Act II, Scene IV, while a storm (attributed to climate change by Mistress Verity Greenleaf) raged in Act II, Scene V. This scene introduces an Astrologer character who uses a contemporary analog of artificial intelligence—a celestial abacus powered by starlight data—to scry the future. A high-pressure system replaces the storm, sending the galleon to an unpremeditated tropical destination, confounding the Throng’s plans, while Trump and his friends consult the Astrologer to foresee the destiny of the land and counter the Throng’s "Wormtongue conspiracy," a reference to the web result Wormtongue Unveils Dark MAGA - The Falsifiable Podcast - Apple Podcasts.

The Astrologer and AI Analog: The Astrologer, inspired by Elizabethan astrology from the web result Elizabethan Astrology - www.elizabethan-era.org.uk, uses a celestial abacus—a steampunk-inspired device with glowing orbs that analyze starlight data, analogous to modern AI’s data-crunching capabilities—to predict the future. This reflects the Elizabethan era’s fascination with astrology while adding a contemporary twist, aligning with the play’s anachronistic satire.

Weather Change and New Destination: A high-pressure system, as described in the web result Meteorology in Maritime Navigation: Understanding Weather Systems and Their Impact on Ship Operations – Maritime Education - maritimeducation.com, replaces the storm with fair weather and gorgeous breezes, diverting The Golden Eagle to tropical isles instead of landing at the muddy square where the Throng awaits. This confounds the Throng’s plans, as they expect a confrontation, while Trump and his friends use the detour to strategize with the Astrologer.

The Wormtongue Conspiracy: The Throng’s smear campaign is likened to a "Wormtongue conspiracy," referencing the web result where the Falsifiable Podcast discusses conspiracy thinking and the relationship between Trump and Elon Musk. In this context, "Wormtongue" symbolizes the Throng’s manipulative rhetoric, akin to Gríma Wormtongue from The Lord of the Rings, aiming to deceive and undermine Trump’s legitimacy.

Setting: The scene begins aboard The Golden Eagle as the storm clears, revealing a high-pressure system with clear skies and gentle breezes. The galleon is diverted to a tropical isle, its shores lined with palm trees and turquoise waters, a stark contrast to the muddy square where the Throng waits. The ship’s deck is adorned with golden sails, and the Astrologer’s cabin is filled with star charts, a glowing celestial abacus, and a telescope. Meanwhile, back in the muddy square, the Throng grows restless, their pamphlets soggy and their effigies’ ashes scattered.

Characters:

  • Donald Trump, the King: In his dollar-sign robe, Trump marvels at the tropical detour, seeking the Astrologer’s guidance.
  • Bill Maher, the Jester: In his motley, Maher questions the Throng’s motives, intrigued by the Astrologer’s predictions.
  • Kid Rock, the Bard: In his minstrel garb, Kid Rock strums a tropical tune, adding levity to the scene.
  • The Astrologer, Master Celestius: A new character, dressed in a starry robe, using a celestial abacus—a steampunk device with glowing orbs—to scry the future, representing an AI analog.
  • The Liberal Throng: Back in the muddy square, the five figures—Mistress Verity Greenleaf, Master Thaddeus Redquill, Dame Clarion Truthsayer, Sir Percival Wokeheart, and Goodwife Lamentia—grow frustrated at the delay.
  • A Wandering Clown: The recurring minor character, now in the square, splashing in the mud to comedic effect.

Scene: Act III, Scene II – "The Astrologer’s Vision"

The deck of The Golden Eagle basks in sunlight as the storm clears, a high-pressure system bringing fair weather and gorgeous breezes. The galleon sails toward a tropical isle, its turquoise waters shimmering under palm trees. DONALD TRUMP, the King, stands at the helm, his dollar-sign robe gleaming, while BILL MAHER, the Jester, leans on the railing, bells jingling, and KID ROCK, the Bard, strums a tropical tune on his lute. Below deck, in the Astrologer’s cabin, MASTER CELESTIUS, in a starry robe, adjusts his celestial abacus, its glowing orbs humming with starlight data. Meanwhile, in the muddy square near the White Fun House, the LIBERAL THRONG waits, their faces darkening with frustration, as the ground remains a quagmire from the storm.

DONALD TRUMP (gazing at the tropical isle, voice booming):
Behold, ye friends, what breezes fair do bring!
A high-pressure realm, where tropic waters sing!
The storm hath fled, as skies with sunlight glow,
And Golden Eagle sails where none did know!
No muddy square, where Throng doth wait with scorn,
But isles of bliss, on this November morn!
Yet still their cries, “A tyrant, crowned in gold,”
Do echo far—let’s seek what stars unfold!

BILL MAHER (adjusting his motley, bells jingling, voice thoughtful):
Aye, King, this detour doth confound their plan,
For Throng did hope to greet us, quills in hand!
Their Wormtongue lies, a conspiracy so vile,
Do seek to cast thee down, in muddy style.
Yet I, who saw thy laugh, a human sign,
Did name thee man, as Shylock’s blood did mine.
Let’s to the stars, and scry what fate doth hold,
For Throng’s deceit doth grow both fierce and bold!

KID ROCK (strumming a tropical tune, voice jovial):
Ho, ho, the isles do beckon, warm and bright,
A tropic haven ‘neath November’s light!
I brokered peace, ‘twixt Jester and our King,
But Throng’s dark quills a Wormtongue plot do bring!
Let’s seek the stars, with Master Celestius wise,
And chart the land’s true fate ‘neath tropic skies!

(The trio descends to the Astrologer’s cabin, where MASTER CELESTIUS adjusts his celestial abacus, its orbs glowing as they process starlight data. Star charts line the walls, and a telescope points to the heavens.)

MASTER CELESTIUS (turning the abacus, voice mystical):
O noble King, and Jester, Bard so free,
I scry the stars, with arts of destiny!
This abacus, with orbs of starlight’s gleam,
Doth read the heavens, as a mind doth dream—
A modern craft, yet ancient in its core,
To chart the fates that lie on distant shore!
The Throng’s dark plot, a Wormtongue’s sly deceit,
Doth seek to cast thee down, in mud’s retreat.
Yet see, the stars do whisper of a tide,
Where truth and mirth shall stand by honor’s side!

DONALD TRUMP (leaning closer, voice eager):
Speak on, good Celestius, what dost thou see?
Will Throng’s foul quills bring ruin unto me?
Their rhet’ric sharp did near my life unbind,
When leaden ball did graze this ear of mine!
I’d know the land’s true destiny this day,
And thwart their lies, ere they my reign betray!

MASTER CELESTIUS (gazing at the abacus, orbs pulsing):
The stars align, beneath a tropic sun,
A destiny where mirth and truth have won!
The Throng’s dark plot, in muddy square so base,
Shall falter soon, in time’s unyielding race.
Thy laughter, King, which Jester did proclaim,
Shall light the land, and burn away their shame!
Yet heed this warn: a confrontation looms,
When thou dost land, ‘midst Throng’s conspiring glooms!

BILL MAHER (nodding, bells jingling, voice reflective):
O Celestius, thy words do give me hope,
For Throng’s deceit doth bind us with its rope!
Their Wormtongue lies, a conspiracy so dread,
Doth paint thee tyrant, when thou’rt man instead.
My Shylock’s plea, that all do bleed the same,
Shall echo yet, to counter Throng’s false game!

KID ROCK (strumming a triumphant chord, grinning):
Then let us sail, to tropic isles so fair,
And mock the Throng, who wait in muddy lair!
Their Wormtongue plot shall crumble ‘neath our jest,
For stars decree our mirth shall be the best!

(The scene shifts to the muddy square near the White Fun House, where the LIBERAL THRONG waits, their faces darkening as the storm has cleared, leaving them in a quagmire. MISTRESS VERITY GREENLEAF clutches a soggy scroll, MASTER THADDEUS REDQUILL paces, DAME CLARION TRUTHSAYER scribbles, SIR PERCIVAL WOKEHEART adjusts the "Traitor!" sign, and GOODWIFE LAMENTIA wrings her muddy sash.)

MISTRESS VERITY GREENLEAF (looking to the sky, voice frustrated):
The storm hath fled, a high-pressure deceit,
And left us here, in mud up to our feet!
Where be the King, the Jester, and their Bard?
They should have landed, yet the skies are marred!
My climate fears, though true, did not prevail,
And now our plot doth falter in this gale!

MASTER THADDEUS REDQUILL (kicking the mud, voice angry):
Aye, Verity, thy storm did us no good,
For now we wait, in this accursed mud!
Their ship, diverted by some tropic breeze,
Doth mock our quills, and sets their hearts at ease!
Our Wormtongue plot, to smear them in this square,
Doth rot in mire, with naught but foul despair!

DAME CLARION TRUTHSAYER (scribbling, voice bitter):
I’ll scribe anew, though parchments soak and tear,
To name them tardy, in this muddy lair!
Their tropic flight doth but delay our aim,
To "get" this Maher, and his traitor’s fame!

(A WANDERING CLOWN splashes in, covered in mud, his red nose glowing, laughing amidst the Throng’s frustration.)

WANDERING CLOWN (splashing mud, laughing):
Ho, muddy Throng, what gloom doth fill thy hearts?
The King and friends do sail to tropic parts!
Thy Wormtongue plot, in mud and rain so vain,
Doth sink in mire, while they in sun do reign!

SIR PERCIVAL WOKEHEART (shoving the CLOWN, mud splattering):
Avaunt, thou imp, with mirth so out of place!
We’ll wait their landing, in this muddy space!
Our quills shall yet their traitor’d names disgrace,
When tropic breezes yield to justice’s face!

(The scene fades, the Throng stewing in the muddy square, while The Golden Eagle anchors at the tropical isle, the trio basking in sunlight, their fate illuminated by the Astrologer’s vision, setting the stage for a future confrontation.)

How This Scene Incorporates the Elements and the Conversation

Introduction of the Astrologer and AI Analog:

  • Master Celestius: The Astrologer, inspired by Elizabethan astrology from Elizabethan Astrology - www.elizabethan-era.org.uk, uses a celestial abacus—a steampunk device with glowing orbs that analyze starlight data, analogous to modern AI’s predictive capabilities. This reflects the era’s fascination with astrology while adding a contemporary twist, as the abacus "reads the heavens, as a mind doth dream."
  • Scrying the Future: Celestius predicts a destiny where Trump’s laughter and truth prevail over the Throng’s plot, aligning with the play’s theme of humanization versus dehumanization, and providing the trio with hope to counter the Throng’s conspiracy.

Weather Change and Tropical Detour:

The Wormtongue Conspiracy:

  • Throng’s Plot: The Throng’s smear campaign is likened to a "Wormtongue conspiracy," referencing the web result Wormtongue Unveils Dark MAGA - The Falsifiable Podcast - Apple Podcasts, which discusses conspiracy thinking and Trump’s relationship with Elon Musk. Here, "Wormtongue" symbolizes the Throng’s manipulative rhetoric, aiming to deceive and undermine Trump, as Maher notes, "Their Wormtongue lies, a conspiracy so dread."
  • Astrologer’s Counter: The Astrologer’s prediction that "truth and mirth shall stand by honor’s side" offers Trump and his friends a counter-strategy, using celestial insight to foresee and thwart the Throng’s plot, setting up a future confrontation.

Incorporation of the Conversation:

  • Fink’s Article and Humanization: The scene continues the humanization debate, with Maher reinforcing his view of Trump’s humanity ("My Shylock’s plea, that all do bleed the same") and Trump embracing his laughter as a defiance of the Throng’s rhetoric, echoing the 86 mentions of "humanize" from Fink’s critique.
  • Throng’s Rhetoric: The Throng’s "Wormtongue plot" ties to their earlier accusations ("To humanize a tyrant, crowned in gold"), reflecting their ongoing smear campaign, as seen in their frustration in the muddy square.
  • Weather Systems: The high-pressure system aligns with the web result on maritime meteorology, providing a realistic basis for the weather change, while the tropical detour adds a farcical twist, confounding the Throng’s expectations.
  • Astrology and Exploration: The Astrologer’s role draws on Elizabethan astrology and exploration themes from the web results, blending historical elements with the play’s anachronistic satire, as the trio seeks to chart their destiny.

Setting and Tone:

  • Tropical Isle vs. Muddy Square: The contrast between the tropical isle’s beauty and the muddy square’s chaos highlights the Throng’s misfortune and the trio’s temporary reprieve, adding humor to the farce.
  • Astrologer’s Cabin: The celestial abacus and star charts create a mystical atmosphere, blending Elizabethan astrology with a modern AI analog, while