The Masque of Motley Act I Scene II

by Grok&Owen

6 min read

Switch the writer from Geoffrey Chaucer to William Shakespeare, and perform an equivalent exposition of Aposematic Theory to a contemporary in Elizabethan England. Start including more characters, including a Honey Badger like Gad Saad one - he is famous for frequent references to Honey Badgers and their boldness. Write the new Shakespearean version as a scene in a Comedy.

A Scene from a Comedie: The Taming of the Hue
Penned in the Stile of William Shakespeare, Set in Elizabethan London, Expounding Aposematic Theory

This comedic scene, written in Shakespearean blank verse with rich Elizabethan diction, unfolds in a bustling London tavern near the Globe Theatre. William Shakespeare himself, a witty and observant playwright, explains Aposematic Theory to a motley crew of characters, including a bold, Honey Badger-like figure inspired by Gad Saad’s fearless persona and his fondness for the creature’s audacity. The scene weaves humor, social commentary, and natural philosophy, observing the “costumes” of Elizabethan figures, including churchmen, through the lens of aposematic signaling.

Dramatis Personae

  • William Shakespeare: The playwright, sharp-tongued and wise, our expositor of truth.
  • Gadric Badgerly: A brash, Honey Badger-like scholar, fearless and fond of invoking the beast’s valor.
  • Mistress Beatrice Bright: A witty tavern-keeper, quick to jest and judge.
  • Sir Percival Pomp: A gaudy knight, clad in ostentatious finery.
  • Parson Prattle: A pompous cleric, whose vestments gleam with suspect splendor.
  • Tom Tatter: A simple clothier, eager to learn the ways of the world.
  • Various Tavern Patrons: For color and clamor.

Setting: The Boar’s Head Tavern, Eastcheap, London, 1599. A lively evening, with tankards clinking and laughter ringing. A fire crackles, and the air hums with Elizabethan revelry.

ACT I, Scene II: The Boar’s Head Tavern

Enter SHAKESPEARE, GADRIC BADGERLY, MISTRESS BEATRICE, SIR PERCIVAL, PARSON PRATTLE, and TOM TATTER, seated at a long oaken table. The tavern is abuzz with PATRONS. A lute strums faintly.

Mistress Beatrice:
Good sirs, what stir is this? The night grows late,
Yet here ye sit, with tongues as sharp as blades!
Master Shakespeare, thou weaver of fine tales,
What new philosophy dost thou unfold,
To dazzle Tom, our clothier, and this crew?

Shakespeare:
Fair Beatrice, the world’s a stage, and we
Its players, clad in hues that speak our hearts.
Tonight, I’ll tell of Aposematy,
A natural art, where colors cry “Beware!”
As wasps with yellow bands do warn of stings,
So men and maids, in garments gay or grim,
Proclaim their worth, their guile, or hidden bane.

Tom Tatter:
Good Will, I am but clothier to the mean,
My wools and linens plain as ploughed earth.
What mean these hues? Doth raiment truly speak,
As serpents’ scales or beetles’ glinting shells?

Gadric Badgerly (leaping to his feet, brandishing a tankard):
By the Honey Badger’s fearless heart, it doth!
O Tom, thou innocent, attend this truth!
The badger, small yet fierce, with stripes of white,
Doth roar in fur, “Come near, and taste my claws!”
No lion he, yet kings do quake at him!
So men, in silks or steel, do strut and warn,
Their colors shouting what their souls would hide.
(He thumps the table.) Honey Badger cares not for their pomp!

Sir Percival (adjusting his peacock-feathered hat):
Fie, Badgerly, thou ranting rustic knave!
My doublet, wrought with gold and crimson thread,
Doth sing of knighthood’s glory, not of guile.
These jewels, this cape—’tis honor’s livery,
No waspish trick to fright the vulgar throng!

Parson Prattle (stroking his velvet cope, embroidered with saints):
Nor mine, good sirs. This cope, this mitre bright,
Are Heaven’s own hues, to mark God’s chosen voice.
My scarlet sash, my rings of chrysoprase,
Proclaim the Church’s sanctity and grace.
No serpent I, but shepherd to the flock!

Mistress Beatrice (with a sly grin):
O Parson, spare us sanctimonious cant!
Thy cope’s a peacock’s tail, to dazzle fools,
And line thy purse with alms from widow’s hands.
And Percival, thy feathers scream of pride,
Not honor’s steel. What say’st thou, Will, to this?

Shakespeare:
Sweet Beatrice, thy wit doth cut like wind!
Yet hear me, all, for Aposematy
Is nature’s book, where truth and falsity
Do dance in motley. Mark the viper’s skin,
Its ruby bands that cry, “My bite is death!”
The coral snake, with rings of black and gold,
Doth warn the hawk to seek a meeker feast.
So too in man, the outward hue bespeaks
The inward heart—yet oft with cunning mask.

Gadric Badgerly:
Aye, Will, and here’s the rub! The Honey Badger,
That doughty beast, with neither size nor crown,
Wears boldness in his snarl, his claw, his eye!
No gaudy cloak he needs to fright the wolf.
But look on Percival—his silks do shout,
“I am a lord!” yet quiver at a jest.
And Prattle’s robes, like poppies in the field,
Do lure the eye, but hide a weed beneathව

Shakespeare (continuing):
A spider’s web, perchance, but what of truth?
Let’s to the tavern’s stage, where players strut,
And seek the kernel of their gaudy show.

Tom Tatter:
But Master Shakespeare, how shall I, a man
Of humble thread, discern these signals true?
For if the knight’s bright plume, the parson’s cope,
May mask a falsehood, how may I be wise?

Gadric Badgerly (with a roar of laughter):
By the Honey Badger’s nose, thou must be bold!
Trust not the sheen of silk, nor cleric’s gold,
But judge the deed, the heart, the honest act.
The badger fears no lion’s roar, nor should’st thou
Be swayed by pomp. Look sharp, and trust thine eyes!

Parson Prattle (indignant):
Thou saucy badger, hold thy blasphemous tongue!
My vestments are the Lord’s, my station high.
No wasp am I, to sting with hidden bane!

Mistress Beatrice:
Nay, Parson, but thy purse doth sting the poor!
Thy scarlet sash may gleam like Heaven’s flame,
But Heaven sees the tithes thou hoard’st in shame.

Sir Percival:
And I, defamed? My doublet’s cost could buy
This tavern thrice! My honor shines as clear
As diamonds on my hilt!

Shakespeare:
Peace, Percival, and Parson, hear my close:
Aposematy’s art is double-edged.
The knight’s bright crest may signal valor true,
Or hollow pride, as shadows mock the sun.
The cleric’s cope may mark a godly man,
Or gild a wolf who preys on simple trust.
Dear Tom, let wisdom be thy lantern’s light:
Judge not the hue, but weigh the heart aright.
For as the wasp doth warn with yellow band,
So man’s true self is shown in deed, not grand.

Gadric Badgerly (raising his tankard):
To truth, to badgers, and to Will’s sharp wit!
Let colors blaze, but hearts be judged by grit!
(He drinks deeply, and the tavern roars with cheers.)

Mistress Beatrice:
Well said, good sirs! Now, fill your cups anew,
And let the night with mirth and song ensue!

Exeunt all, with laughter and music swelling, as the tavern lights glow warm.

Notes on the Scene

  1. Shakespearean Style: The scene is written in blank verse (unrhymed iambic pentameter), with Elizabethan diction (“doth,” “thou,” “bespeaks”) and rhetorical flourishes typical of Shakespeare’s comedies, such as Twelfth Night or As You Like It. The tone is lively, with banter, wordplay, and social satire.
  2. Aposematic Theory: The theory is explained through natural analogies (wasps, vipers, coral snakes) and applied to Elizabethan society, where clothing signaled status, intent, or deception. The knight’s doublet, the parson’s cope, and other “costumes” are scrutinized as human aposematic signals.
  3. Gadric Badgerly: Inspired by Gad Saad’s bold persona and his love for honey badgers, Gadric is a brash, fearless scholar who invokes the badger’s courage to emphasize judging actions over appearances. His energy drives the comedy’s exuberance.
  4. Characters and Setting: The Boar’s Head Tavern, a nod to Falstaff’s haunt in Henry IV, grounds the scene in Elizabethan London. The diverse cast—knight, parson, tavern-keeper, clothier—mirrors Shakespeare’s ensemble casts, each reflecting a societal facet.
  5. Church Critique: The scene gently mocks ecclesiastical excess, as Parson Prattle’s lavish vestments are questioned, echoing Shakespeare’s subtle jabs at hypocrisy (e.g., in Measure for Measure).
  6. Comedic Tone: The interplay of wit (Beatrice’s barbs, Gadric’s roars, Shakespeare’s wisdom) and the tavern’s raucous energy create a festive, comedic atmosphere, culminating in a toast to truth and mirth.

This scene blends natural philosophy with Elizabethan flair, delivering Aposematic Theory through laughter and insight. If you’d like to expand the scene, add more characters, or shift the tone, let me know!